Happy 7th birthday C!

C turned 7 on the 14th of July.

Dear C,

You’ve been looking forward to your birthday celebrations since the beginning of the year, counting down first by the number of months, then weeks, and finally by the number of days. Not because of the presents or party, but because you’ve been waiting to take that teeny-tiny step towards adulthood.

The day has arrived, and you are now officially a 7-year old. “Almost an adult,” you declare, proudly showing off the gaps in your teeth where two adult teeth have started to show. You can’t wait to grow up, but I wish for time to slow down, just a little.

You’ve grown so much over the past year. Sometimes, I forget that you are only 7.

There were the times when I was impressed by the maturity of your speech and actions. Did I tell you that I was extremely proud to hear that you stood up to the bully to protect your friend? Or how comforted I felt when you offered to keep your brother busy when you saw that I was tired so that I could rest?

Then there were the times when I’m reminded that you are still a little girl, one who still believes that the tooth fairy and book fairy is real. I try my best to keep that belief alive, by staying up late to write that note on behalf of the fairies, so that you are not disappointed when you wake. That sparkle in your eye when you see the letter is worth it. I hope that you will always believe that magic exists, in one form or other.

It was not so long ago that I woke up at 5am for your morning feeds. Just the two of us awake, you suckling quietly at my breast. You were a tiny baby then, dependent on me for your every need.

Now, 5am mornings are part of our daily routine again. Just the two of us awake, getting ready for school. But now, you do not need me to brush your teeth, or get changed – you can do that yourself. Then you sit quietly, sleepy and blurry-eyed, while I tie your hair.

You’ve been asking me to teach you how to bundle your hair in a ponytail. I’ve seen you standing in front of the mirror, trying to figure out how to do it properly. I will teach you, and you will keep on practicing till you get it right, just like how you learnt to button your own shirt and how you learnt to feed yourself.

Have patience, my dear daughter. I know that you can’t wait to grow up, to be fully independent. But before you get there, there are so many things that I hope you will learn. Not only to tie your own hair, but to learn from mistakes, to act with grace and humility, to be a person with integrity.

In the meantime, I will put off teaching you how to tie your hair for a little longer. I know that I will miss doing this little task for you, just like I miss the times when I helped you put on your socks, or when I fed you your rice cereal. So, I’m holding back, I want to keep tying my little girl’s hair for a little while longer.

Happy birthday, C!

Love,
Mummy

Happy 3rd Birthday G!

G turned 3 on 31st May, so this post is almost 2 months late (gasp! Where did the time go??)

Dear G,
Last year flew by in a blur. You’ve grown so much over the past year. Your verbal skills have improved by leaps and bounds, and you’re able to express yourself well, be it narrating your own story, recounting your day in preschool, or complaining about your sis :p 

You love to sing, and I would hear you humming to yourself while playing. Your favourite songs? Eensy-Weensy Spider, Alphabet song, and of course, “Let It Go” from Frozen. You’ve also started to learn to play the piano, and your best (and only piece) is Hot Cross Buns. I hope that you will always enjoy music, and be able to sing your heart out whenever you feel like it (like you do when you start belting out Let It Go at midnight in the dark)

You show an affinity for the written word. I would catch you pointing out words in books and street signs, and you love learning how to spell (magnetic letters are one of your favourite toys now). You’ve learnt to spell your name, and simple words like milk, toy, dog. I would often catch you “reading” to your toys at bedtime 😉

G reading

You’ve progressed from a little boy who was afraid of going up the trampoline, hesitant to jump into a ball-pit or even try the balance-beam, to a little daredevil who leaps off into the ball-pit (or off the bed) if given half a chance. Although mummy is so proud that you’ve come so far, try not to give me too many heart-attacks, ok?

Leaping in with wild abandon

You’re such an affectionate little boy, giving us warm hugs when you sense that we are upset. I love it when I get home from work every evening, to see you running to me shouting “Mummy, you’re home! I miss you!” I miss you too, everyday at work.

You really look up to your elder sis, parroting her words and imitating all her actions. I’m so glad that you are such a loving little brother, missing your sister when she is not around, giving her hugs when she is upset, offering to share your sweets with her whenever you get some. Always, always remember this bond that the two of you share.

Sharing a special bond

Of course, there are the tantrums. Terrible twos and threes were not named by chance. You have a stubborn streak in you that drives me up the wall sometimes, yet I can’t stay upset for long. All it takes is “I’m sorry, mummy. Are you still angry?” and a big hug from you. And who could resist that cheeky grin? Please grow out of this phase soon, though. It’s really no fun. I have the proof on video, and I promise to show it to you when you are older.

I know that it’s not easy being the second child, and you have limited time alone with mummy because she has to work and spend time with your older sis for her school work. As a result, you’ve grown up to be more independent, playing quietly by yourself when everyone else is busy. Sorry my dear G, I will try to spend more time with you. And take lots more photos and videos.

Happy birthday my dear G, mummy loves you lots. Stay happy and healthy. Laugh lots, and I hope you never lose that twinkle in your eyes 🙂

Happy birthday G!

Love,

Mummy

“Nothing”

Credits: jimbenton.com

When I saw this picture on my Facebook wall, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. This is EXACTLY what I am facing with 5 year-old C.

Typical conversation when I get home from work:
C: Hi mummy, you’re back!
Me: How was school today? Did you enjoy yourself? What did you learn in class?
C: I don’t know. Nothing much. *shrugs shoulders*
Me: You had science class today, right? What did you do?
C: we played games and sang some songs.
Me: Sounds fun! Can you sing me the song?
C: I cannot remember… Mummy, I saw a funny looking bird today! (and goes on to describe the bird)

Don’t get me wrong. C loves school and she chatters on in detail about other things (about how she saw a leaf skeleton, about the ants that crawled in a row, about white flowers she saw on a tree on the way back from school…)She just chose not to report her activities in school (probably because she didn’t see the need to)

I’ve come to realize this: for C, the discovery of a pretty flower weighs far more in her mind than the phonics that she learnt in class. And that she is telling me about the things that matter most to her right now.

So I’ll just listen to what she has to say, instead of hearing what I want to hear.

What did your child tell you today?

The not-so-perfect mum

Ok, so there are the days when everything goes perfectly. And then there are the times when I really feel like kicking myself. Today was such a day. I realised that I had completely forgotten to pay my daughter’s school fees. I had mixed up the dates on the notice – it was due on 7th December, not 7th January. Reading further down, there is a statement stating that her place in school would be given up to the next person on the waiting list if fees were not paid on time. Great. My daughter might not have a place in the next school year. Granted, the chances of this happening are slim but “what if?”

These are the moments that I dread. What happens if I forget to do something that will affect my children for the rest of their lives? Or worse, what if I do something wrong? This is when worst-case scenarios start appearing in my head and panic mode sets in.

*deep breath*

To some, I may be overreacting, but the feeling of inadequacy and guilt is real. Social media updates from friends remind me constantly that I’m not the perfect mom- I’ve friends who manage successful careers, cook healthy meals for their kids everyday, spend quality time going through homeschooling curriculum, volunteers and still manage to look fabulous everyday (all documented on Facebook posts or blogs). I don’t cook, barely have time for the kids after work, and look like I badly need a haircut.

When I was a new mom, I expected everything to be under my control, to somehow know the exact thing to do at the right time. Now that my older child has turned 5, I’ve learnt to accept the fact that I cannot do it all, and that there will be times when I make mistakes, and I’ve got to take a deep breath, learn from them and move on. It still feels terrible when I blunder, but I need to be able to move on.

I’m not the perfect mom, but I’m trying my best.

For those who have children, do you ever feel the same way too?

p.s : On the issue of my daughter’s school fees, I called the school and rushed down to make payment. She will have a place in class next year. Phew!

The most beautiful sound

Early this morning, I was awakened by the sound of giggles from my 2 children. The first thing that came to my mind was “Oh no! Both awake at 3am?!”

I stayed as still as possible, in case they were waiting for me to wake up before pouncing on me – hmm, no fingers prying my eyelids open, yet. I opened my eyes slowly  to check the situation. Both were still fast asleep! My daughter let out another round of giggles, and soon after, my son followed suit.

At that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of contentment, and spent the next half hour or so looking at their smiling faces, sound asleep, in the semi-darkness. Children’s laughter is the most beautiful sound, even more so when they are laughing in their sleep.

My children are happy. So, I am, too.